Have you ever battled with the idea and the process of becoming the best version of yourself?
Have you made plans for how you can accomplish your goals? Knowing what it takes, how to get there, when to stop, or start again?
Take a minute. Breathe.
During your transformation, you may feel like everything is falling apart, but in reality, everything is coming together for your highest good.
You’re being pushed to evolve and get out of your comfort zone so that you can live and experience your true greatness.
You’ve used all your strategies and nothing has changed yet. Dear friend, the strategy you need now is patience.
What you need to do is, trust the process.
I do not think I am the best person to offer you advice, but I can explain why trusting your process is important for growth.
Trusting the process is about accepting that hardships will happen along your journey to success, but having confidence that every lesson is bringing you one step closer to fulfilling your purpose in life.
I will share with you some of my experiences and why they have been an important part of who I am today.
Stick around, I promise it will be worth it!
About this time last year, I had been so down with who I am as an individual. I had turned 27 years old, and I had no job. I was, and I’m still living under the ‘umbrella’ of my parents, and on top of this, I was and i’m still trying to earn my degree.
I feel you may be asking.. “27 and still trying to earn a degree?” Yes, I was that problematic child. At least, I felt so, strongly. Life had sucked the ‘juice’ out of me and all that was left was a hopelessness that I cannot explain to this day. But I will assure you, it was the worst feeling ever. Because at that point, I was battling with thoughts of being worthless, and thoughts of how to overcome my situation.
Long story short, I overcame that. And this is how I did it;
Start With God.
Trusting God is number one, and always will be.
Many people speak of how channeling your inner energy is the most important and all you need, but dear friend, I tell you, God is the cementing agent. He has nothing but great plans for you. All He needs you to do is trust Him.
Pray and make your requests known before him. I remember that I was not even praying during the time I thought of myself as a failure. And when I realized how far I was from Him, I took a step back and thought, “maybe this is what I have not been doing right all along.”
I had to renew my relationship with God, and I did. I understand that you may not be a believer in Christ. If you aren’t, there must be a driving force in your life. Everyone has something. And if that is how get your focus, your Zen? Learn to channel it, and allow it guide you.
Mental health is key.
This is an aspect of our lives that many people tend to overlook. Are you truly okay, even when you say “I’m fine.”
Having a strong mental health contributes a lot to who you are, and who you become. It may involve self-confidence, self-respect, self-love, amongst others.
I learned about this slowly and with a lot of patience.
Building self-confidence can be challenging, because we make decisions, and then fight our decisions down by fueling our brains with negative thoughts. That there is a case of not trusting your own judgement and decisions particularly if you are naturally self-critical, and other people put you down.
Self confidence starts with you. The moment you allow yourself to go with your gut you are halfway there.
When you make a mistake and you are able to acknowledge that it was a mistake and move on from it with a lesson learned, you have got the hang of things girl! Learn to trust yourself, the universe has its own way with you. When you learn to trust yourself and your judgement, you will automatically believe in yourself, respect yourself and love yourself.
Take that risk that you dread so much.
Ever heard of the statement, ‘it is not a risk if you are not scared?’ It literally just means that.
Let us all understand that in the working woman’s generation there are vast uncertainties. A girl has a lot to prove to the family, the society, her spouse, her friends and all this, in a Patriarchal society. Striking a balance can be an uphill task; one which only the fittest survive. As a woman, it is important to have personal goals. Write them down, give yourself a timeline and respect yourself enough to see them through. Am I clear on this one?
You have to initiate this process by yourself and participate fully to the achievement of your goals. It’s all part of the process. It took me a while to learn about seeing my goals through and I am happy to report that I am on the route to full recovery. I learnt that the biggest risk for me is not even taking the risk, it’s the fact that I cannot afford not to take it. Check out this blog post by Style Salute https://www.stylesalute.com/the-biggest-risk-for-women-is-not-taking-risks/.
Move on from your mistakes.
This will help a lot with trusting the process. We have all made some pretty bad decisions at some point in our lives, right? Imagine how it felt.
There is this one time that I made a bad investment and I felt really awful because I lost some hard earned money, and I remember moping around for a while blaming myself for how I poorly decided even against my gut feeling.
It may be an investment, a friendship, a relationship, a business idea, no one never knows what its going to be. Whatever the mistake, take the sole responsibility to accept that you were the reason for that mistake. After this, move forward with confidence that you have gained some wisdom. The truth is, mistakes are there to be made and it is from these mistakes that we learn how to handle some things, people and environments.
How many mistakes do you think Oprah Winfrey made before she became successful? She had to overcome feelings of failure and self-doubt and much more. Take a look at https://www.business2community.com/trends-news/oprah-winfreys-success-story-becoming-an-inspiration-to-everyone-02236317.
Mistakes do not make you any less a human being. In fact, they make you more human. So learn from your mistakes, and put on your beautiful or crooked heels and march on! You were made to overcome this.
Always Look the part.
This is also an important part of trusting your process. It does not matter if you start with something as small as a bra or an underwear, start somewhere.
I bought myself some lovely underwear and I felt great that I was able to do that for myself. It could be a trip down to the salon or a nail parlor, it could be a shopping spree, it could be a meal. Wear confidence and look the part. It is important to understand that you are what you think, so you are the ultimate agent of change in your life. Do what works for you.
Finally, in all of these, a very eye-opening lesson for me was to not focus on going from 0 to 100. Instead, focus on going from 0 to 10. Then 10 to 20 and so on until you get to 100. Even though I am not there yet, I have built sustainable habits through gradual progression. I promise you will make quite a number of mistakes; I have made plenty. However, progress, not perfection. Move forward and remember that everything is a choice, whatever choice you make, makes you, so trust your process.
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