Have you seen the Matt Spicer movie, “Ingrid Goes West”?
Do you remember the scene where young and obsessive Ingrid Thorburn made her ‘last’ video, showing the world who she really was, before gulping down the bottle of pills with a beer, and laying to the death she wanted?
It was so easy for my eyes to well with tears while watching that scene, and I was really emotional for a couple of reasons;
- That very moment.
- That there are millions of girls who really don’t see themselves.
- That there are millions of girls who still don’t love themselves.
- That there are millions of girls who constantly have the thought of suicide, so it can be a lot easier.
- That there are people who make it harder for girls to appreciate themselves, and live.
- That there are girls who want to get better, do better, live better, think better, but don’t know how to.
If YOU are reading this, please understand that first, you are a human being before you are anything else. And yes, this human that you are is not perfect. This human that you are has flaws, mistakes, a soft spot, one or more blind spots, and ah yes, that desire to matter, at least to someone.
There are a lot of girls who can easily relate with misery; many of us know how it felt, and we know how it didn’t feel. One thing I was grateful for on my part, was that I didn’t think killing myself, my vibe, or dimming my light would make things better. I had my blank pages to help me remember that.
I wrote every letter of sadness, pain, misunderstanding, fear and need that clogged my heart. I wrote all I could – writing was my therapy. Thankfully now, writing isn’t my only therapy; Learning also is.
I learn more about myself everyday, about the idea of love, the idea of loving myself, the idea of appreciating who I am as a person, acknowledging my nasty habits and developing the right attitudes – Everything that matters.
I’m still learning, about life’s challenges, growth, spirituality, meaning, depth, patience, understanding, wisdom. I no longer compare myself with other people. I am my own person. I am different, beautiful inside and out, loving, thoughtful, forgiving, reflective, and I’ve been able to unashamedly embrace all my good qualities….without the fear of being called out or labelled by anyone as “not enough”.
So, I guess in all of this, what I’m trying to say is STOP!
Stop thinking negatively. Stop trying to live as what you are not. Stop trying to look for self-validity in the ‘ok’ of others. Stop hating yourself. Stop craving 2nd or 3rd party reassurance(s).
Start appreciating who you are. Start learning. Start growing. Start living, because the world needs you.
You need you.
Just stop, and embrace better solutions.
Trust me, self-acknowledgement has the power of making us strong and at peace, independent and more, DO IT!